Saturday, 18 September 2010

Round 2: FIGHT!

Quoted from somewhere: "I feel like a dog. If I can't fuck it, or eat it, I piss on it". How true.

Life feels spoiled for me at this point. Living a life that I never believed I would. To many, it may sound like every guy's dream but at this point, I'm really tired and fed up of it. I have to drink to have a good night sleep...

Well, tonight I had a few drinks sufficient for me to sleep, thank to EvilCar for the company.

Thanks for reading. Gotta go sleep so I can wake up tomorrow with enough energy to go on with this bullshit.

Take care all.

I dedicate this to all of ya. "Lobang Korek"... This is why your car's suspension pass away earlier than your pet dog.


Monday, 25 January 2010

Do Not Marry

The Big List Of The Benefits Of Bachelorism

1. Everything in your house is yours.
2. You don't have to hide gifts, receipts, and other purchase records in ridiculous places.
3. If you buy something "yummy", you don't have to buy twice as much.
4. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss.
5. Your late nights are all yours.
6. Less stuff to move when you do move
7. One bedroom apartments feel more spacious with only one person
8. You never have to ask for permission to orgasm.
9. Only the doctor can tell you what to eat
10. You decide what to shave and when

11. Valentines day costs less
12. No anniversaries to remember
13. No extra birthdays to remember
14. No extra family to shop for during the holidays
15. No irritating in-laws to deal with
16. You can walk around naked whenever you want.
17. Only your sense of decency has any say about where you leave your dirty clothes.
18. You don't have to share
19. You don't have to change your life because someone else has jealousy issues.
20. The only insecurities you have to deal with are your own.

21. Getting that out-of-state job doesn't hinge on what someone else wants or thinks.
22. The only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.
23. You can fall asleep anywhere without getting any guff for it in the morning.
24. You don't have to use the "headache" excuse anymore.
25. You don't have to worry as much about the "oops, I'm pregnant" factor.
26. The only person who goes through your stuff is you.
27. The only person who sees your inbox is you.
28. More time to spend with friends.
29. You don't have to live with someone who can't stand your parents.
30. If you want to go for pizza at 3am, no one stops you or asks you why.

31. You can date more freely.
32. The cute secretary is fair game.
33. The whole wedding mess? Yeah, none of that to deal with.
34. You don't have to share your closet with anyone else.
35. You always get to watch what you want.
36. You always get to read what you want.
37. You decide when to crawl into bed.
38. You can throw yourself into bed and snore without dire consequences.
39. No one else's annoying (or disgusting) habits to deal with at home.
40. The only fetishes you have to deal with are your own.

41. You can talk to yourself without people saying "what?" or worrying about your sanity.
42. There are religious benefits, if you're into that kind of thing.
43. Single people can still adopt, if you're into that kind of thing.
44. The only annoying friends you have to deal with are your own.
45. You don't ever have to wonder if you really love the person you live with.
46. There's only one way to do things- your way.
47. You are the master of the thermostat.
48. The only messes you have to clean up are your own.
49. The only disasters you have to fix are your own.
50. If an argument starts, you can walk away... forever.

51. You don't have to make excuses for yourself.
52. The whole "old maid" thing is so last century.
53. Dinner can be as simple as a frozen burrito.
54. When you eat, you buy and cook for one.
55. No one else is going to eat your leftovers.
56. No one else is going to raid your stash of sweets (you don't even have to hide it!)
57. You don't have to share your bed with anyone.
58. You can even eat in bed if you want to.
59. You can decorate the entire house according to your taste.
60. The only person spending your money is you.

61. Three words: Marriage Tax Penalty.
62. The only debts you have to pay off are your own.
63. Kids with single parents can get more financial aid.
64. Bickering couples are at best a relieving reminder and at worst hilarious.
65. Less pressure about body weight.
66. Married people are fatter on average anyway.
67. Suddenly, it's okay to look (and flirt).
68. It's easier to focus on your career and your dreams.
69. You're the only person who gets to decide if you "need to make more money."
70. The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own.

71. There are a lot of lonely and violently psychopathic people out there.
72. You don't have to change your religious beliefs one bit.
73. There are 6.5 Billion other fish in the sea. That's 6,500 x 1 million. Yeah.
74. Porn is cheaper, easier, and comes in more varieties.
75. The toilet seat only moves when you move it.
76. Cohabitation is legal, fun, and less of a hassle than marriage.
77. You don't have to deal with someone else's kids all the time.
78. Divorce is pricey.
79. You don't have to deal with "compliment fishing."
80. Fewer minutes spent with a phone attached to your ear.

81. No endless nagging.
82. You never have to answer the phone "right now!"
83. You can drink what you want, where you want, and as much as you want.
84. No doubts or worries about someone sleeping around.
85. Things stay where you put them.
86. You can meditate and have your quiet time when you need it.
87. The only thing whining about not being fed is your cat.
88. You can take out the trash when you feel like it.
89. You can shower or bathe when you want, as often as you want, for as long as you want.
90. You can even leave the door open when you shower.

91. The longer you wait, the better you know yourself, instead of someone else.
92. Children learn how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself.
93. A bad relationship is like a lingering knife wound- it continues to ruin your whole day.
94. You can be as eccentric as you want.
95. Your car can be as dirty or unusual or artistic as you want.
96. You decide how long it takes to get ready.
97. Say goodbye to heartache, dumping, and being dumped.
98. You get your weekends for you and your projects.
99. You can be the wild friend with all the really juicy stories.
100. You can still get laid. Maybe even more often. Certainly with more variety.
101. Being single and staying single isn't selfish. It should be seen as putting your happiness first (Where it should be.)

Friday, 22 January 2010

Facing the Terrible Traffic - The Essentials

How's it going?

I am sitting in front of my computer in the office with tonnes of work waiting for me to settle and all of a sudden, I DON'T FEEL LIKE WORKING! Well, at least for now. So earlier today I was battling the bad traffic at K.L. and it came across me that there are several things that are simply necessary during a traffic jam.

Here goes:

  1. Handphone - One of the most important thing to have during a jam. Call someone. Anyone. Since you are moving slow or not moving at all, you need to have this little device to keep your hand busy. DO NOT USE HANDSFREE. It is uncool and your neighbours might think you are talking to yourself, CHI 9 SIN!
  2. Newspaper - Since we were young, our educators have always stressed about the importance of reading, and knowing about what's happening in the society/community. Since you are moving slow or not moving at all, and with one free hand (you don't need to steer since you're moving so slow/not moving), grab the newspaper and indulge yourself into a world of information!
  3. A 1.5 litre Spritzer bottle - Preferably 1/2 filled. Drink it if you feel thirsty. Use it if your car over heats. Piss in it if you have no way out. (Careful not to exhibit too much to your horny neighbours.)
  4. Sunglasses - There some magical times when the car next to yours so happen to be a blardee hot girl. You simply cannot take your eyes of her. (KEEP ONE EYE ON THE DAMN NEWSPAPER, GOD GAVE U TWO EYES FOR A REASON) Now now, it's rude to stare at others, did mum teach you? Wear a pair of sunglasses, tilt your head about 28° to the girl's direction and align your remaining eyeball to stare at her.
  5. Steel Pipe (about 0.8 meters length) - If by the time you reached the point where you can see what the jam is about, you might want to use this to inflict injury onto the problem maker. Etc.: The entire stretch of LDP is stuck from Kepong to Puchong because of an auntie who crashed her car onto the divider. At this point, she might be standing nearby her car holding her phone begging for help. Get out of your car and use the steel pipe and whack 9 her. FUCKER, DRIVE CAR DRIVE UNTIL LANGGAR DIVIDER, GO HOME HIDE DUN EVER COME OUT AGAIN!
**Note: Based on experience, No. 5 is kinda flexible. A sledgehammer or baseball bat works just as fine. Please do not use a parang, it's quite messy and half the fun.


That's it. Now back to work.

Friday, 15 January 2010

It's OK la... i think.

How's it going?

Once again, I've left Ipoh to pursue something.

I left Ipoh to Subang Jaya when I was 18 to pursue a diploma in Civil Engineering. After much struggling I did not achieve that because I managed to enter James Cook University in Ositraleah.

Left Malaysia to Ositraleah for another 2 years to pursue a degree and this time I did not fuck up.

Came back to Ipoh for almost a year and left again to pursue a PE status, an I.R. abbreviation in front of my name.

Sigh.

I'm back to pulling out clean clothes from my suitcase again.

The good part is, I am free of getting those fuckers to buy motorcycles from me.